..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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