Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
