my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
