going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize