i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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