He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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