Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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