CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
