have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
