her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
