I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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