Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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