over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
