Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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