Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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