Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
