"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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