Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
