can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
