I have demons in me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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