is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
