If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
