i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
