Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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