i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
