My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
