I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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