I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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