I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
