how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
