i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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