Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
