so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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