atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
