So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
