Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
