Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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