4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
