I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
