So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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