apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
