We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
