You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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