it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
