big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
