This girl is more easily done than said...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
