After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
