You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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