Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
