You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
