Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
