I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
